It’s been a while since my first post. How time has passed!
Between the first and second blog post, I got pregnant, moved offices, delivered my little one, completed a training course on Dialectical Behaviour Therapy and have started my training to be a Board-Approved Supervisor. So I do apologise for not posting as often as I would like to.
This brings me to the topic I would like to discuss today. Boundaries. For me more specifically, setting boundaries between clients. This includes being okay with saying ‘No’ and being mindful to not over share while bridging the gap with clients.
For a long time, I have struggled to say “No” to others. I’m a people pleaser at heart and often make decisions wanting to ensure others would be happy. . I tended to agree to urgent report requests, extra sessions/assessments while trying to juggle family life, administrative work and the need to continue to further developed my skills as a psychologist. However, I’ve have very quickly learned that there is price to pay as I try to accomodate to everyone needs. By agreeing to a lot of the requests made, I inadvertedly sacrificed my time, mental health and family in my unhealthy pursuit to make others happy.
As I set up my own little solo practice, I am well aware that I will not be able to make everyone happy or meet everyone’s needs. I have come to accept that there are only so many hours I am able to work without sacrificing the precious bonding time with my family, more specifically my very little ones.
Moving forward, I would like to continue to try accomodate to requests made my clients as this is much in line with my values. However, I would like to do so in a more mindful manner. A manner in which I actively try to do so within a limit. The limit being to an extend where my time with my family and mental health are not affected. I will be setting aside some time for these unexpected requests and once that limit is reached, I will start declining.
Hence, I would like to politely request for your understanding if I decline your requests (e.g. for a certain time slot or to complete an urgent report with not much heads up). A healthier me equates to better service delivered.
I hope that perhaps by me modelling such boundary setting that it would encourage you to also do so if you have a similar struggle.
Till the next post, stay safe, be mindful and present in your everyday life. =)